If you can’t find something fun to do on Saturday this weekend, you don’t like fun.

Ongoing

Portland Movies in the Park

Portland Parks and Recreation has released the 2012 summer schedule of Movies in the Park. From June 29 through September 18 sprawl out at one of Portland’s fine municipal parks several times a week for an evening of free entertainment.

Friday 8/3: Citizen Kane @ Laurelhurst Park

Saturday 8/4: Footloose (2011) @ Brooklyn Park

Saturday 8/4: Kung Fu Panda 2 @ Earl Boyles Park

Sunday, 8/5: The Muppets (2011) @ Sellwood Park [more]

Friday

The cortandfatboy Midnight Movie – Conan the Barbarian

Conan the Barbarian is the featured film at the cortandfatboy Midnight Movie, on Friday, August 3, 2012 at the Bagdad Theater (3702 SE Hawthorne).

“‘Conan! What is best in life?’
‘To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women.’

That’s a mission statement, right there.” [more]

Saturday-Sunday

Bones And Brews

The 18th Annual Bones and Brew Festival, August 4 – August 5, benefits the Oregon Zoo. Last years event drew more than 4,000 people to Portland’s historic Buckman neighborhood and raised more than $10,000. This year’s family and dog-friendly event will be a celebration of the American Backyard BBQ and include: BBQ vendors, a BBQ contest, Kobe Bleu Ball eating contest, Dog Vendors, Charity Dog Wash and 30+ Microbreweries. [more]

Saturday

Fremont Fest

The 26th annual Fremont Fest takes place this Saturday, August 4, 2012 from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.

NE Fremont between 42nd and 52nd will be pedestrian-only all day, to make room for a full schedule of events, including a kids and pets parade down Fremont (10 a.m., starting at Beaumont Middle School parking lot), a kid zone, live music (on three stages), craft and food vendors, a pub crawl, and more! [more]

Portland Iranian Festival

The 13th annual Portland Iranian Festival returns to the South Park Blocks by PSU, adjacent to the farmers market, this Saturday, August 4, 2012 from 10 a.m. until 5 p.m.

The celebration and display of the Iranian contributions to Portland’s cultural mosaic will include: “Iranian Traditional & Popular Music, Traditional and Modern Dance, Iranian Cooking Class/Demonstration,” and more! [more]

Sidewalk Sale at the Oregon Historical Society

The Oregon Historical Society‘s annual Sidewalk Sale takes place Saturday, August 4, 2012 from 10am to 4pm at the museum at 1200 SW Park Avenue.

“The Oregon Historical Society is holding a Sidewalk Sale of duplicate and out-of-scope books from the Research Library, along with sale, discontinued, and clearance items from the Museum Store.” [more]

Barrel Aged BeerFest

Celebrate the fifth anniversary of Bailey’s Taproom (213 SW Broadway) at the 5th annual Barrel Aged BeerFest this Saturday, August 4, 2012.

$5 admission includes a 12 ounce souvenir snifter and access to 4 ounce pours of rare barrel-aged beers. [more]

Obonfest

Honor your ancestors at the 2012 Obonfest on Saturday, August 4 from 3 p.m. until 9 p.m.

Sponsored by and held at the Oregon Buddhist Temple (3720 SE 34th, at Powell Blvd), Obonfest features a beer garden, spam musubi, and more! [more]

Sunday

Portland Timbers vs. FC Dallas

The Portland Timbers (5-12-4) play host to the second worst team in the Western Conference, FC Dallas (5-11-7), at Jeld-Wen Field Sunday at 4 p.m.

Can the Timbers right the ship, or at least not lose a home match against an awful opponent under Gavin Wilkinson’s less than admirable guidance? We’ll see, but I’m doubtful . . . I’d consider a draw a good result. Sigh.

And for even more weekend events and activities, check out the Dave Knows Calendar, and visit Around the Sun, Blogging Portland on the Cheap, and Oregon Events at OregonLive.com.