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Rose City Heresy: Stumptown

April 7, 2009 by Dave 30 Comments

It’s easy to gripe about the surly service – hire a hipster to sling your coffee and you’ll get hipster-style service from them. But that’s not a Stumptown exclusive; it’s the case with virtually all of this city’s independent, non-family run, coffee shops. My problem with Stumptown is that their coffee is truly awful. I don’t drink much espresso. I drink black coffee. Stumptown prepares their coffee in a french press. It sits in the pot for too long (perhaps because the staff is busy striking poses and snarling at customers, or maybe because the music’s so loud they don’t hear the bell on the timer) so it’s over extracted and bitter. The mess is then transferred to air pots. The bilge spewed from the air pot is bitter, sour, luke-warm, and gritty. All of this leads me to believe that they don’t give a damn about the coffee.

Filed Under: Coffee, kvetch, Portland

Comments

  1. devlyn says

    April 7, 2009 at 7:44 am

    I think they have the best espresso, but I’m not a drip-coffee drinker. We use Hairbender at home, and it is always delectable. Also, the surliness depends on which shop you go to (though it is available in spades downtown).

  2. Dave says

    April 7, 2009 at 8:05 am

    devlyn – I’ve been happy with their americanos; and the surliness doesn’t bother me too much (one time I ordered at the Stumptown on Division and the woman was so pleasant, swear to god, I thought for a second I was in a Starbucks; but the obnoxiously loud music disabused me of that notion quickly).

    I miss the clover machines at the Stumptown on Stark.

  3. Ed says

    April 7, 2009 at 9:21 am

    Nobody has better product and service than Peets.

  4. Dave says

    April 7, 2009 at 9:24 am

    Ed – Peet’s is my favorite place for black coffee too – It’s consistently strong and fresh.

  5. Kerry says

    April 7, 2009 at 9:30 am

    I kinda like the surly. It makes me laugh.
    Silly hipsters — snarls are for kids.

  6. Mary Sue says

    April 7, 2009 at 9:51 am

    I’m just glad that Stumnptown coffee is widely available so I don’t have to actually go into Stumptown shops.

  7. Jason Gabriele says

    April 7, 2009 at 11:09 am

    Well I love Stumptown coffee and IPA style beers. Sounds like you should find a new city to live in Dave.

  8. Dave says

    April 7, 2009 at 11:17 am

    Kerry – You’re right, the surliness is kinda funny. I guess I’d be a bit surly too if I had to wear my pants that tight.

    Mary Sue – Good point. It’s hard to find *consistently* good coffee in town though; most espresso places don’t seem to care as much about the brewed coffee.

  9. Dave says

    April 7, 2009 at 11:27 am

    Jason – You’re entitled to your opinions. But you don’t have to be a jerk. Thanks for visiting!

  10. josh says

    April 7, 2009 at 11:35 am

    Stumptown cafe downtown has terrible coffee! However, I like Stumptown as a brand. Everywhere else brews it fine, but the actual Stumptown cafe turns it into sludge. I also find it funny that they charge over $2.00 for a cup there, but you can go a couple of blocks down to Voodoo Donuts and get a cup of Stumptown coffee for $1.00 and it actually tastes good!

  11. RobertWagner says

    April 7, 2009 at 12:11 pm

    Completely agree. I’ve found myself wondering “why” on quite a few occasions with Stumptown. They have a very devout following to say the least but I just don’t get it. I’ve tried and I’m sorry, it just isn’t happening for me – and I’ve yet to try plain ‘ol coffee either (and now I’m rather glad I haven’t).

    I’ve noticed that quite a few Peet’s locations tend to have hipsters too (tight pants included) and they aren’t nearly as surly. While their coffee seems a little inconsistent to me depending on the location (and whose isn’t?), I’m thinking the surly/not-surly difference has to do with the product being sold –– what good is my employee discount at Stumptown if I really don’t like the stuff? Just a guess.

  12. Dave says

    April 7, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    josh – I *want* to like Stumptown but a litmus test for me is a decent cup of brewed coffee. But I’ve been content with the rare espresso drink I’ve got from them.

    RobertWagner – Peet’s uses a different roast every day, it seems, despite having a “House Blend,” but in general I’ve had the best luck there. Yeah, and their hipsters are nice! BTW – I dig Portland Sucks.

  13. SauceSupreme says

    April 7, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    Coffeehouse NW offers Stumptown beans in a variety of brew methods beyond the French Press like Eva Solo. And of course Barista offers the Vacpot. Stumptown Annex also offers drip coffee via a single cup brew, as does Ristretto though I’ve never actually seen them do it.

  14. Mary Sue says

    April 7, 2009 at 3:14 pm

    I do have to say that I wouldn’t know a decent cup of coffee if it jumped up and hit me in the face. Too many years working in education and healthcare have ruined my palate.

  15. Ben Waterhouse says

    April 7, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    Maybe you just don’t like French Press coffee? The staff at the Belmont Stumptown are always pleasant whenever I go in, and I’ve never had any complaints about their black coffee. Espresso drinks tend to be flawless; I can’t say the same of Peet’s, where I keep getting burned lattes.

  16. jason g. says

    April 8, 2009 at 1:03 am

    this is a joke, no?

  17. Dave says

    April 8, 2009 at 6:01 am

    SauceSupreme – Thanks for the tips!

    Mary Sue – It’s really astonishing how much bad coffee there is out there.

    Ben Waterhouse – Yeah, French press is not my favorite, but it’s fine when fresh. I just get coffee at Peet’s, so I can’t opine about their lattes.

    jason g. – nope.

  18. Steve says

    April 8, 2009 at 7:02 am

    What a surprise. A post about coffee gets you the most comments ever. Portland is weird.

  19. Dave says

    April 8, 2009 at 7:03 am

    Steve – I hear Elko is pretty weird too . . .

  20. mike says

    April 8, 2009 at 10:41 am

    I’ve jumped on the Spella bandwagon. Or bandcart? It’s a cart on Park and Alder downtown. I don’t drink drip, but their Americanos are smooth and they’re friendly as hell.

  21. Brent A. says

    April 12, 2009 at 8:55 am

    Wow. Were you having a bad day when you wrote this? I know you tend to complain frequently about the Northwest’s most famous beer style, the IPA. But now Stumptown and “hipsters?”

    I personally like Stumptown, their music, coffee, and servers. Their french-press coffee isn’t my favorite but I don’t expect them to satisfy every customer. I take pride knowing that a Portland coffee company is at the forefront of Fair Trade and “green at the source” practices. And I’ve never seen them posing or snarling at customers.

    My favorite coffee at the moment is Spella, which I get at Flavor Spot on Mississippi.

  22. RobertWagner says

    April 12, 2009 at 9:20 am

    Dave…

    thanks – both for the compliment and the Peet’s bit, I didn’t know that. Now if they would just open a shop just a few blocks closer while it’s still raining every day…..

  23. Dave says

    April 12, 2009 at 10:06 am

    Brent A – I’m entitled to kvetch every once in a while, this is my blog after all.

    And I am merely addressing the french press coffee in the air pots.

    It sucks <--- my opinion, shared by some other people as well. Also their servers' demeanor is a matter of public record. Regarding the phrase "posing and snarling" - I am entitled to bloggers' creative license in anything I write on my blog, thank you very much.

  24. Brent A. says

    April 12, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    oh. this is becoming a discussion best handled over a beer. when are we going to grab a pint?

  25. mike says

    April 21, 2009 at 7:57 am

    I’m assuming this article in New York magazine was written after your blog post just to antagonize you:
    http://nymag.com/restaurants/features/56145

  26. Adron says

    April 28, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    don’t know about the French Press, but their other options are the most consistent, awesome cups o’ Joe in the city, and Seattle and New York for that matter.

    But then of course, only in Portland can one complain about some of the best beer, coffee, and assortment of goods on the entire PLANET! 🙂

    Hey, at least we have the stuff to complain about – IMHO.

  27. misuba says

    October 30, 2009 at 11:58 am

    Anyone who thinks Stumptown employees have attitude has never been to Barista.

  28. mr smith says

    March 9, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    For every generalized anecdote you present about hipsters and poorly handled french pressed coffee at stumptown I’ve experienced 50 cups of coffee that were excellent. As far as surly I doubt you have pulled espresso in this town. People (customers) are often times really really stupid. Get a few pricks coming through your coffee line and it makes you defensive. Work customer service long enough and you’ll learn to hate everyone equally!

    Peets is your standard. You’ve lost all credibility man.

  29. Dave says

    March 9, 2010 at 3:19 pm

    mr smith – A decent cup of strong, black, hot, fresh brewed coffee is my goal, not “credibility.”

    Peet’s delivers consistently (especially if the coffee of the day is the Kenya) because they have some quality controls in place.

    Stumptown’s french pressed, transferred to airpot coffee is seldom fresh and usually luke warm. Not my preference.

  30. Christopher says

    June 22, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    I thank you from the bottom of my mug. Finally, someone else out there speaks the truth about not just stumptown coffee, but the coffee shops themselves.
    It’s always been my saying, Stumptown coffee tastes like a hipster took a shit into a coffee cup and added water.

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